A conscious pace.

Hello.  Is there anybody out there?
You may have noticed my absence over the past several months.  My blog has sort of fallen to the back burner of things.


Tell me if you've ever had this conversation before:  someone asks, "So what do you do?" you answer "I'm just a Mom" and immediately that other person begins apologizing for you, telling you that you are so much more than 'just a Mom'.
I've had that experience.  And what I want to know, is when did being 'just a Mom' become a BAD thing?!!  Over the last little while, I have been discovering what a blessing it is to be 'just a Mom' and nothing else. 

I have often compared myself to other mothers. One Mom I know looks like a Barbie doll.  She runs marathons.  Her kids look like they jumped out of a fashion catalog and they're always decked out in cute clothes she has sewn herself.  Another Mom is equally cute, as are her kids.  She has a beautiful home that could grace the cover of any magazine.  And I've even heard that she cooks a real breakfast for her kids every morning. (no pop tarts or cold cereal)  I know Moms who grind their own wheat, bake their own bread, are healthy to a fault.  I know Moms who home school, and those who teach their children to read before they are out of diapers. I read blogs of women who create beautiful art, scrapbooks, quilts, and even those who build their own furniture.  I am surrounded by amazing women.  The thing is - I am not any of those other women.  And even though I am just as wonderful in my own ways, there is something in me that tells myself I should be like everyone else. 

I read a blog post recently, written by a women just like me.  well, just like me in the fact that she compared herself to all the greatness around her.  She tried to do it all and be it all, and found out that she wasn't very good at juggling.  She learned that just because someone else can do something wonderfully and with ease doesn't mean that she can - or should. 

I enjoyed one story she told especially well.  Her daughter joined the daisy scouts, and her troop needed a mother to do their activities each week.  She thought to herself, it's just one little meeting for one hour each week.  I can handle that.  But she couldn't.  Each week that one simple activity seemed to be a big deal, and usually put off till the last minute causing stress and a lot of running around and craziness.  Half way through the year, her daughter even told her she wished she'd never even signed up.  She took a hard look at her life and made some tough decisions.  She decided that her children didn't really need to be a part of every activity, or to develop every talent.  What they really needed was a mother who was calm and attentive and who was there for them, and in tune with what they needed.

I couldn't help but think of my own Mom.  I think she was the best Mother in the world.  I miss her so much.  I felt so loved and so secure with her around.  She was never a room mother, a PTA president or a team coach.  She was home.  She was there for me.  Anytime I needed anything from her, she put down what she was doing just to listen, and always did what she could to help with kindness and patience.  She let me learn and let me grow.  She was an amazing mother.

Over the past few months, I have been trying to go at a 'conscious pace' which is to say that I am trying to consciously think about the things I choose to do.  I have grown up my whole life listening to the prophets and church leaders talk about the divine roll of motherhood.  I guess I'm a little slow because I don't think I've ever really 'gotten it' until now.  It's been a real surprise to me how deeply the ways of the world have been engrained into me.  I never knew that I was so distracted by all those comparisons.

Since reading that woman's blog post, and trying to go at my own conscious pace - I have been so much happier.  Our home has been so much more peaceful and has such a nice spirit.  I enjoy my kids so much more and the freedom of being able to be -just a mom.  I know Mothers who have to work.  And it makes me that much more grateful that I can be just a mom. I'm not terribly good yet at always choosing what's best to do or not.  But I'm learning a lot.  I'm thinking about things I never did before and making choices about the pace our family runs at.  It has made all the difference in the world.

If I could give you one gift this Christmas Season, it would be to give you a 'conscious pace'.  If you're reading this and you're intrigued - instead of just thinking 'well DUH.'- then do yourself a favor and click here to read that post. She is so much more articulate about it than I am.  I hope it will help you like it has me.